Thoughts on Conferences and Other Churchy Things

This past weekend I tried to go to a Christian conference. 

In the past my family and church have taken me to a conference or two, and I cannot recall a time when I truly enjoyed myself. I mean, I had some good times with the people I attended past conferences with. But many times I found myself struggling when I thought about the intent of the program facilitators and speakers. What was the aim of the conferences? To empower young people? To give people a safe environment to express their faith? To make enough money off of everyone in order to pay for ritzy accommodations and expensive lifestyles of the speakers and musicians?
At this conference I asked myself the same questions.

The very first speaker talked about "making disciples," and I felt very uncomfortable throughout the majority of his talk. "We need to get out of our churches and evangelize..." "We don't want to get to Heaven just to tell God that we were too afraid or didn't want to evangelize to anyone... so we have to make disciples of as many people as we can..." 
I know living out our faith is important, sure. But so is being humble. 

I think God led me over to this church downtown the other day, when I didn't get into my conference seminar. Ever since that first speaker's sermon earlier that morning , I had been feeling so... awkward in myself, if that makes any sense. Like I had just listened to something that could be right, but there was one fundamental truth missing. 
The service was about spiritual disciplines, and the importance of being "rooted in love" rather than in our own selfish intentions. 
The speaker emphasized on Matthew 6, which talks about 

• giving,
• praying, and 
• fasting.

Each passage talking about these three disciplines emphasized on the importance of humility. To be real. To not be noisy and seek gratification for every "godly" action. Serving God and witnessing to others has to come from an honest place. Otherwise you are just putting on a show, and people will be able to pick up on it so easily.

I don't know what the speakers' intentions were at that conference. I don't claim to know their hearts. But it felt so staged. So fake. And that is why I did not enjoy it. I looked at each speaker and, throughout the day, I realized that I could not imagine Jesus standing on the stage, doing and saying the exact same things that they were in the same manner. And so the entire thing kind of imploded for me.

But, with that being said, I learned a lot. 
A) That many years of Mennonite-style "shuffling" has left me ill prepared for evangelical, bouncy and expressive Christians at conferences. Note to self: learn some kick-ass dance moves.
B) Large crowds leave me feeling less small and insignificant. I was once unable to function when placed in seas of people. Now I merely grin and bear it. It's a step forward, at least...
C) Answers can come from the most unexpected of places, if you are willing to wander around a bit in search of them.

And in this case, I wandered a little bit downtown, away from a huge Christian conference, and found God in an old theater which now serves as a community run inner-city church.